Marriage is the hardest thing


Marriage is the hardest thing (well, maybe not the hardest but up there in the top 5 for sure)

Marriage Vows.  Serious Vows.  We recently did a vow ceremony at church. Oh sure we had lot's of fun that night(it was Valentines after all) but it got real serious, real fast... even if for just a few minutes when we said the vows.  

I,  take you, (name), to be my  lawfully wedded (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live. 

Marriage is hard.  I think anyone that says otherwise is a liar, or freak of nature.  I am pretty sure marriage is meant to change us and let's just be honest most of us don't want to change.  

The color on my screen at work in Quick books just changed from green to blue and honestly it makes me angry every time I open it up.   

I know, I know....I am a mess.  Everything changes, I have to learn to live with that.  Since life is ever-evolving you would think I would be used to that by now.  

Okay, so back to the whole marriage thing.  Some of us, not saying who...are just not that great at it.  Some of us(mainly myself), we love but have trouble with the whole laying your life down for one another.  
Which in my ever-changing world means watching my words, loving intentionally, it means being faithful not just in a "no adultery" way.  
Being really faithful is about being faithful to every vow I have made...Being faithful to honor and love in every way and in every season.  

It is not always easy.  My marriage provides fertile ground for all my selfishness to be revealed.  Not that he is ferilizer...hahaha.
Just that it pops up like ugly weeds in a yard. If I take inventory I realize how much work I still have to do,how incomplete my love really is.  How unfaithful I am at times to love and honor.  

We are changing, ever evolving.  My messy mind unravels and he is the one who has the compassion and unconditional love to listen and give me the freedom to be honest.  He is what I have always needed, unfortunately I worked very hard to never need anyone.  

I am changing, we are changing.  Marriage is vulnerable work.  It is scary to love someone so completely. 

Unconditional is hard because life gives you lots of conditions to love through.  

It's worth every bit of the work.  
It's worth being vulnerable.  

We were made for this type of connection but we have to fight for it. Not fight each other, but fight our flesh.  Fight against the, "I want it my way" and the "I have to protect myself" mindset and learn to live in the fluidity of ever changing authentic connection. 

I am choosing to change...to be me, but better....much better.  To trust and hope and love the man that is my soul mate, the love of my life.  

He makes me better and along the way, we are better partners.  

Life ebbs and flows....don't give up.  

Change, that is what marriage calls for... change.  Allow the friction and the fear to change you and then crack your heart open in the most vulnerable way and love, love anyway. 

Don't give up sweet friends...Love wins!

Debbie 

  


No comments:

Post a Comment

Featured Post

My Heart is Full

I ran across this picture, just the other day.  It was painted way before my life turned upside down and inside out.  I thought my heart ...