The challenge of a Cinderella life

     Sometimes I feel like Cinderella.  I have been given the gift of a life I never expected, charmed and beautiful in many ways.  Underserving of such an extravagent gift of grace, I find myself mesmerized by the beauty of what is my life.  I have moments of rejoicing and moments of the greatest happiness I have ever experienced and then.....

My very charmed life.....
The Monster within....

  BAM I am the wicked stepmother!  Now, technically I am not a stepmother but it would appear by my childrens reactions that I am a Monster Mother.  Thats right I said it....a monster mother.  Wickedly inflicting my rules and regulations upon them.  Forcing them into teenage slavery.  Clean the rooms, clean the bathroom, clean your clothes, etc.  I become someone I don't even recognize as I glance in their rooms and see (correction can't see) the floor and the disaster that is their rooms.  I think of throwing everything away that is on their floors, my temperature boils as in my head I come up with new ways to torture them.  I could take away all their games, I could refuse to give them any lunch or gas money.  I want to scream and throw things, but I don't.  Monster Mother, filled with rage.  Who is this woman?  I love my children, I truly do.  However, sending them to a dungeon for a season does seem like a wonderful idea at times.  These boys, the same adorable, loving boys that made forts and played for hours under sheets and blankets connected to chairs and bed post now have created living spaces that could be condemend by the housing authority. 
     And so, Monster Mother closes the door and walks away.  The ugly monster lurking behind Cinderella's princess life seeks refuge in the word of God, turns on worship music and let's it go.  Cinderella returns.  She laughs and sings as she cleans what she can.  She keeps the doors closed to that ugly world and realizes she can't control everything.  Some things in Cinderella world are best left behind closed doors.  My prince charming is coming soon and there is much to be done still.  And so I focus on Him and on becoming more and more like the Princess I am called to be.
    Royalty is costly.  I am willing to pay the price daily, if only my Monster lurking within would stay locked up in that dungeon.  Monster Mother is my test, she is raging in the dungeon of my heart.  She wants more from my children than they can give(and then she should expect from teenagers).  She longs to force and rage, to create robot children that will be perfect.  But the magic of the Holy Spirit enables me to lock her up and shrink her down to almost she gone yet, no.
      Monster Mother is slowly melting away into nothingness. Trust me, it's not easy.  Behavior modification is not what I am after, I want this character dead!  She is a tyrant and must be destroyed for this story to be written with the best possible outcome. By the way, sometimes she is not Monster Mother she is Witchy Wife or Pissy short tempered Pastor....yes, thats right she has mad morphing skills. But she is getting smaller all the time. Progress not perfection in this earthly world.  But the Kingdom is coming and then, well then I will be perfected (no quick magic wand action, just sanctification and then instant perfection in heaven). 
    Cinderella is a fairy tale that we all grew up with and dreamed of living out, but my life is reality.  Reality seasoned with rare opportunities to lead a family and others into the Kingdom of Heaven.  It isn't easy being the heroine and sometimes the antagonist in the story of my life.  The call of creating a story line that is both humble and glorifying of God is a challenge to say the least, but I enjoy writing it and feel confident of this one thing....He who has begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. 

Multiplication not division

Years in ministry have taught me one thing:  Division is bad, multiplication is good. 

Sadly, many think that they must minimize (criticize) others(views, beliefs, practices, etc.) in order to elevate themselves (their views, beliefs, practices, etc.).  A common practice in the world we live in... but it has no place in our sanctified, blood bought Christian family.  All of us struggle with casting down pride, removing it from our lives bit by bit.  It is the most rooted of sins in our lives.  Entangled in our daily lives it causes us to put ourselves above others.  To view our way as the best way or the only way.  It causes division among the brethren instead of multiplication.  Satan's best work done through God's glorious children.  How heartbreaking it is to see our own children doing Satan's work (rebellion, self-seeking and immorality), how much more so for our heavenly father to see us doing Satan's work.  Satan's focus; steal, kill and destroy.  Within the believers ranks he simply starts at division, then he steals unity, kills kindness and destroys innocent bystanders.  How happy Satan must be to see disagreements, criticism of the brethren, dishonoring comments of leadership and the biting and devouring of one another amongst the believers.  This weakens our testimony to the community and keeps us from operating in our full operational strength.  This type of behavior never invokes Gods blessing but rather puts us in disobedience to his word.  When we can lovingly stand arm and arm together with unity in the essentials and freedom in the non-essentials we can operate in love and have the full measure of the Holy Spirit at work through us.  Then we will see multiplication of the gospel, drawing others to repentance through the goodness of God.  A new command has been given LOVE one another.  The lost and dying of this world need to see a unified, loving move of God. 

My honor of Valentines Day

                   Gary and I  just weeks after 11.11.11 Thankful for more time together.

Love continues to confuse and amaze me. My imperfections still glaringly obvious as I try to give my husband the love he so richly deserves. 

My love
He is the love of my life, none other can compare. 
He is greatness and compassion all fueled by the Holy Spirit.
He is full of surprises and goodness. 
He is vision and strength.
He is weakness made strong by God's grace.
He is perfect for me, yet flawed. 
He is everything I wanted and yet I am scared to surrender to him.
He is my knight in shining armor and my achilles heel. 
He is the one who can make me laugh and cry. 
He is the key to my heart and the keeper of my secrets. 
He is the center of my universe and the gravitational pull that keeps me from spinning out of control.  He is my partner and my lover.
He is my shepherd and my friend.
He is my confidante and my shelter from the storms.
He is my biggest supporter and my best critic.
He is patience and long suffering personified.
He is my example of agape love and my hope of what's to come.
He is my husband and a heavenly taste of what my Jesus is like.
He is not perfect but he is as close as I have ever known.   
He is my love, my now, my future and my past.
My love.



I have not called you wife, pastor, teacher or mother.

No, I have called you Daughter. 

I have not called you sister, staff, leader or artist.

No, I have called you Daughter.

My Daughter, rejoice in this title alone.

          You are my forever Daughter,           
 titles, jobs and positions will all end.

 But you my Daughter,

you will always be my Daughter.

My Forever Daughter.
Psalm 45:10-11 (MSG) 10 "Now listen, daughter, don't miss a word: forget your country, put your home behind you. 11 Be here—the king is wild for you. Since he's your lord, adore him.

This verse says forget your country, put your home behind you.  It does not mean run off and be a monk.  It means take the time to enjoy what is right in front of you, His presence is a daily present.  Be here, in the moment of understanding that He is your King and you are His daugher.  He is wild about you, His daughter.  It is easy to forget the higher calling in all the busyness of our day to day lives.  But the truth is every other title put upon us will be gone when we step from this world into heaven.  Who we are is more important than what we do.  I am not saying don't do anything for the Kingdom, I am just saying don't lose the King in your pursuit of the Kingdom. 



Featured Post

My Heart is Full

I ran across this picture, just the other day.  It was painted way before my life turned upside down and inside out.  I thought my heart ...