|My very charmed life.....|
|The Monster within....|
BAM I am the wicked stepmother! Now, technically I am not a stepmother but it would appear by my childrens reactions that I am a Monster Mother. Thats right I said it....a monster mother. Wickedly inflicting my rules and regulations upon them. Forcing them into teenage slavery. Clean the rooms, clean the bathroom, clean your clothes, etc. I become someone I don't even recognize as I glance in their rooms and see (correction can't see) the floor and the disaster that is their rooms. I think of throwing everything away that is on their floors, my temperature boils as in my head I come up with new ways to torture them. I could take away all their games, I could refuse to give them any lunch or gas money. I want to scream and throw things, but I don't. Monster Mother, filled with rage. Who is this woman? I love my children, I truly do. However, sending them to a dungeon for a season does seem like a wonderful idea at times. These boys, the same adorable, loving boys that made forts and played for hours under sheets and blankets connected to chairs and bed post now have created living spaces that could be condemend by the housing authority.
And so, Monster Mother closes the door and walks away. The ugly monster lurking behind Cinderella's princess life seeks refuge in the word of God, turns on worship music and let's it go. Cinderella returns. She laughs and sings as she cleans what she can. She keeps the doors closed to that ugly world and realizes she can't control everything. Some things in Cinderella world are best left behind closed doors. My prince charming is coming soon and there is much to be done still. And so I focus on Him and on becoming more and more like the Princess I am called to be.
Royalty is costly. I am willing to pay the price daily, if only my Monster lurking within would stay locked up in that dungeon. Monster Mother is my test, she is raging in the dungeon of my heart. She wants more from my children than they can give(and then she should expect from teenagers). She longs to force and rage, to create robot children that will be perfect. But the magic of the Holy Spirit enables me to lock her up and shrink her down to almost nothing....is she gone yet, no.
Monster Mother is slowly melting away into nothingness. Trust me, it's not easy. Behavior modification is not what I am after, I want this character dead! She is a tyrant and must be destroyed for this story to be written with the best possible outcome. By the way, sometimes she is not Monster Mother she is Witchy Wife or Pissy short tempered Pastor....yes, thats right she has mad morphing skills. But she is getting smaller all the time. Progress not perfection in this earthly world. But the Kingdom is coming and then, well then I will be perfected (no quick magic wand action, just sanctification and then instant perfection in heaven).
Cinderella is a fairy tale that we all grew up with and dreamed of living out, but my life is reality. Reality seasoned with rare opportunities to lead a family and others into the Kingdom of Heaven. It isn't easy being the heroine and sometimes the antagonist in the story of my life. The call of creating a story line that is both humble and glorifying of God is a challenge to say the least, but I enjoy writing it and feel confident of this one thing....He who has begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.