Now we see dimly...

Now we see dimly

1 Corinthians 13:12Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)

12 For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as [a]in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand [b]fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been [c]fully and clearly known and understood [[d]by God].
I can't remember exactly when I got this vision, at church on a Sunday I believe.  I kept seeing in my mind this portal, this view in and out.  I felt as though everything that has happened, everything I have seen has somehow been a dim perception.  I have looked at myself in the mirror and never truly seen myself or my circumstances clearly.  I have seen this skewed, partial picture of myself and of my world. 
In this vision or stream of consciousness I was having I could see that the unseen is so much more brilliant than the seen.  
And thus this painting was birthed.  It is really not of me or anyone else, it is everyone of us that in this world are somewhat darkened or stained by circumstances and choices.  Those of us that live through pain and suffering and don't lose hope and look to God and still we are unable to see the glory laying right beyond our sight.  
That we live in a perception set in motion by the enemy of our faith, robbing the beauty and color out of this world, creating a dingy reflection of ourselves and our value.  My color, my light dimmed by unholy circumstances that come from living in an unholy world.  Tentacles of shame shadow my life at times, the darkness of regret blinds me to the beauty that lies within and without, the hope of heaven gleams in a distance to far for my blurred vision to see...just out of my reach and though I long for it, I struggle to bring it's reality here to my day to day life.  
While I look at myself and see the failure of broken relationships, the battle scars of the wars I have waged against myself and within myself, all heaven looks and see's the beauty of a million colors, the seeds of hope planted within this world, the me I was truly intended to be.  Heavens eyes of love look down with all the mercy and compassion of the saints that have experienced a new world.  These saints who's lives were dimly lit, who experienced failures and suffering as all humanity has and will, they look with the knowledge that it is all an illusion created by the great liar and accuser.
Who I am, who we are, is not determined by the mirror we see ourselves in, nor is it determined by the dullness that we see our lives through.  Only through spiritual eyes can we see the glory the Father is creating as He turns our aching hearts into songs of deliverence, as He turns our suffering into seeds of hope for others, our circumstances into strength for tomorrow and our sorrows into blessings.  Only when we truly seek to trust and surrender to the process do we really experience the freedom to say....what can this world do to me?  
There is a place of freedom birthed in the losing it all, in the suffering that teaches you that joy comes in the morning, in the letting go and holding on, there is a freedom we can experience here on this earth but it comes at a price and that price is surrendering your flesh, surrendering your fantasies and living in the desire to be pleasing to God not man.  
In the immortal words of Janis Joplin....
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
Isn't that what scripture teaches us?  You must lose your life to find it, trust and surrender, lean not on your own strength, do not be anxious for anything, the first shall be last, etc...
Just recently I was on a flight where everyone seemed to be looking for the best seats and the Lord reminded me that is not his way, I surrendered and asked Him to lead me and he did to the most loveliest of people.  Best seats no but best people yes.  I want to learn to lose it all and let God give me His best, to let the Lord fill me with trust, to quit striving in areas I have spent a lifetime striving let go of my flesh and truly surrender in every aspect of the word.  
To stand between this world and that and see the glory of what's to come and the beauty of what truly is beautiful in this world, not man's standard of beauty and success but to see the beauty of people even in all their flaws for what it really is...breathtaking!  
We are the walking wounded and brilliantly beautiful, the humiliated and the illuminated, the weak made strong, the soul lovers that have been betrayed yet made soft and pliable through the sifting, the deceived that have seen the light. We are the beauty in a dark world, the broken yet bound together with love, we are the least of these but the chosen, and if we can live in this knowledge of the unseen then we can live victorious in the land of the living. 
You are the beautiful host of a thousand blinding colors and a million songs of glory, you are the beauty of this world.   The enemy would want you to believe and see otherwise but the truth is the defeated are conquerers, what looks like surrender is in fact the first step to freedom.  
When my flesh is gone all that will be left is the pure beauty of a God who is glorious beyond measure reflecting off my bones into eternity.  
So yes, we see dimly...darkness creeps in and we see through the webs of deception and the eyes of disappointment.  But when we open our eyes to the reality of a world of brilliance that comes not in things, position or others but to be so near to heaven that we see it through the lens of heaven.  That's when true freedom comes.
Let's go there together,

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