So I have been thinking a lot about fear. It is still sometimes and has been a destabilizing force in my life, a gnawing at the back of my brain. Like a little mouse chewing on a piece of cheese, fear nibbles on my brain daily. I don't even realize it until I discover the missing cheese. Hahahahhaaaa get it? I do think I heard once that fear truly does eat away at brain matter....but I also could just be making that up.
I often think I am brave only to discover I am not. You know that moment when you see someone, you wish you hadn't. You see them and you can't run and hide down an aisle because it is too late. So you are brave not because you are, but because there is no cowards way out. Then the only brave thing to do is choose love. As fear nibbles at your brain, rejection grips your heart the only choice right then standing in the middle of that store is to choose love. It's not because your brave, its not because there is an absence of fear, it's because it is what Jesus would do.
Somewhere in the middle of all the mess, all the brokenness and beauty we don't necessarily learn how to be brave but we learn how to be love and that helps us to be brave. Being brave doesn't mean we don't feel fear, it just means that even though you feel fear, love outweighs it....so you still do it! Sometimes choosing love is the bravest thing we can do.
Fear is always behind rash decisions, hurtful dissensions, judgement and all sorts of wicked things because we are not created to be carriers of fear. So when it gives birth to action it brings hell to earth not heaven. Fear keeps us from enjoying the "right now" moments of our lives, keeps us from jumping off the high dive, keeps us from trusting others, keeps us from hoping because we can't bear to be disappointed, keeps us from chasing our dreams because we don't want to fail, I could go on and on or you could just fill in the blank with whatever fear keeps you from doing. You can probably even think about a little hell you bring to earth with your own fears. It rears its ugly head in lot's of ways....control, protection, gossip, anger, etc. WE all experience fear, it's how we handle it that counts.
What matters is that when we want to run and hide instead we stand and face the giant(fear). What counts is that when we want to lash out and protect instead we choose love. When we feel afraid we stop and ask ourselves.... what or who is greater, this fear or the one who is in me? And sometimes in the middle of the store you choose love and it turns out not to be that bad.
We are created to be carriers of love, fear just gets in the way of that and makes us more inclined to run, than stand and love. The love in the Bible stands even in the face of fear. If you don't believe me read it's definition of love....that's some pretty heavy stuff. Persevering, forgiving, believing the best, patience, long suffering, etc.
I can't get rid of all the fear that creeps into the corners of my mind but I can choose to live in love and trust that perfect love to cast out fear. Turns out the giants/fears only have the power we give them, fear is for the most part belief in something that hasn't even happened. Unless you are on the high dive and then that seems totally real to me...legit. Seems to me fear is the opposite of faith and hope. So when we look at the giants in front of us through eyes of faith, hope and love all the sudden we realize they are not really that big at all. HE IS GREATER.
I want to live in hope. I can't change the world, but I can change my world. I choose faith, hope and love.
Love you people, you make me brave!
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