Portrait of a Narcissist

Portrait of a Narcissist

We all wonder how anyone can be involved with a narcissist?  We all think we are smarter than that.  We think our intuition is spot on, but keep your guard up we are all at risk.  Don't ignore the warning signs. Once a liar, always a liar.  

Trust God, trust the signs and for God's sake trust your gut.  My faith was rocked, I can't lie but slowly my faith has been restored.  

My ex once said....

I will never talk to her again.  We have babies, please don't ruin our family.

He then left his family in a car while he called her from a pay phone to arrange a meeting.  Turns out over 24 years of marriage she says they saw each other at the very least twice a year. 

My ex once said.....

I wasn't looking at her that way, I was just being kind.  

My son then brought it up at the dinner table and my ex said, don't be silly I am just her Pastor. 

He slept with many women that he "pastored".

My ex once said....

You are so suspicious, you must not trust God. (Spiritual blackmail)

He was banned from my hair salon for making a pass at the masseuse.

My ex once said....

I just like Subway.

Accusations were made because his car was so often in front of a "massage parlor".

My ex once said....

This is how everyone does business.

He was almost thrown in jail for not paying payroll taxes and spending money from peoples 401k withholdings. 

My ex once said.....

He was just joking, just using truck stop humor with the women.  It didn't mean anything. 

In the end there were too many inappropriate, fishing comments to count. 

My ex once said....

He couldn't talk very much while he was at his Pastors Conference.

He had taken another woman to the conference and therefor he did very little at the actual conference.

My ex once said....

The porn on his computer was not his, but my son Justin's. 

Turns out it was the woman he took to the pastors conference sending him porn videos of herself. 

My ex once said....

Your son is just trying to hurt you, I have not had an affair.

He had an affair and it had gotten to my son through a hair dresser at a ice cream store.  

My ex once said....

He was not manufacturing drugs at his business.

The accusation did not seem believable at the time.  Now, who can know?

My ex once said....

I can raise the money, and then he charismatically did.  I was frowned upon for not having the faith to believe.  

Turns out he jumped in and bought a facility that tons of work and was not approved by the city.  That eventually catches up with you....or with your congregation.

My ex once said...

I disrespected him.  

I stood up against him and tried to warn others and they said I was lacking faith and being disrespectful to my husband. 

My ex once said....Okay maybe a million times.

I was crazy.

It worked for a long time, I believed I was crazy jealous looking for things that I was apparently making up in my head.  I doubted myself and my sanity.  

Then God woke me up and told me to walk into his study and there he was talking to another conquest. 

Everything suddenly fell in place.  All of my suspicions were correct.  Turns out he was/is the crazy one.  Pathological liar and narcissist. 

My ex once said....

She is just a single mother that he was helping out.

He later told me that she began coming to the church because he was seeing her, and she was the "one" that he really could have left me for. 

My ex once said....

Yes, I was flirty but I never slept with anyone.  I swear it. I need you to stand by me and support me.  This is just an attack from the enemy.  

Then he admitted to at least 7 sexual affairs.

My ex once said....

Churches did this all the time.

Then I realized it was illegal to run money through the church for personal gain.  I took over the books. 

My ex once said...

He meant to send the sexual picture to me.

Funny, how he sent it to someone else first. 

My ex once said...

I was very critical and negative.

This was when the scales began falling off and I was confronting him about his lies. 

My ex once said....

I was the love of his life.

Myself and many others apparently. 

My ex once said...

Even though we are not together I will always take care of you. 

Funny.

My ex once said...

He wanted to die because all of his preaching had been removed from online.  This was the most upset I had ever seen him.

My ex once said....

None of what happened was my fault.  I was a wonderful wife and partner he was just broken. 

To this day he still lies and explains to others that I made him feel like he wasn't enough and that the accusations were not true they were just misunderstandings.  

My ex once said....

You can chose alimony or I will help pay for our sons college. 

I chose my son. He didn't pay his part. 

My ex once said....

He loved me and wanted me back.

He got married a year later. 

My ex once said....You loved our life but didn't like me.

Turns out he was right.  I don't like him at all.