Some day I will string it all together, the tidbits I wrote during the second greatest tragedy of my life. It will all make sense one day, but in the meantime I celebrate living and moving on from these sentences. Yes, they are a part of me but they no longer describe me or define me. That makes me happy, really happy.
I could always hear a whisper I couldn't quite make out, confusion that I couldn't sort out.
Like a nuclear bomb had exploded in my life, my community, my family, my heart.
Ravaged by shame and pain.
Hostage to silence.
He is close to the broken hearted, so close he made me breathe when I couldn't on my own.
Those things he said that first day curled up in my brain like spiders spinning webs of doubt and fear in my mind.
It was more than a marriage, it was a life just gone in an instant.
Your sorrow is an indication of how deeply you loved.
The loss was unbearable, as if someone had sucked everything out of my spirit and just left it on the floor to be stepped on.
Don't lose hope friends, it turns around! Redemption is guaranteed!!
And the writing becomes happier, stronger and braver.......
Losing everything and finding myself.
Hope was always there, hiding behind the pain.
Sometimes you have to burn bridges in order to stop yourself from crossing them again.
The best lessons don't happen in a happiness bubble. They come in the dirt and muck of a messy, difficult life.
I will honor God no matter what has happened to me.
There is happiness to be found beyond the rubble of what was.
I am not recreating a life, I am finding a new one.
Love is a force to be reckoned with.
I find myself with an unfailing spirit, even though bruised and scarred I still believe in hope and love.
I refuse to build a wall around my heart, it is as open as ever.
And so it is true....God will always make a way.
Yep, one of these days friends it will be in the book but until then be encouraged. He can turns our pain into praise, our fears into faith, our doubts into hope, our broken hearts into beautiful mosaics and our tears into strength.
Love my people, you are the best.
Debbie
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