It's not depressing, it's liberating!

I painted this, remembering my first vision of Jesus as I looked through a viewfinder.  It's all a part of my story.  

I have been in love with a song for at least a year now, I think I heard it first on a trip in Ireland.  We sing now in my Ladies Bible Study on Tuesday mornings, it is called 24 Elders by Catherine Mullins (you can view it on youtube).  I am hungrier than ever for heaven.  In this broken place I find hope in heaven.  I breathe deeply in this sin stained world and as I exhale I know that I am one breath closer to heaven.  It's not depressing, it's liberating.  There is freedom in letting go of everything in this world and setting your heart on home.  The things that seemed so important, really aren't.  The pressure for perfection, released when we realize perfection is reserved for heaven. I am learning sometimes you have to be broken in order to be open to such thoughts.  To being radical about heaven, to really live intentionally with the hope of heaven as your guide.  I think about heaven, the four living creatures flying around the throne for all eternity crying Holy, Holy.  Worship from the throne, non stop.....because they never grow bored or weary of it.  The throne surrounded by a rainbow, The elders surrounded with the glory of God and it never grows dim because heaven is lit with God's glory.  These creatures continue to praise God because they continue to see something new every time they circle around the throne, His majesty is without end.

In the midst of this worship is the King.... all knowing and all powerful.  Who see's every heartbeat, pours out forgiveness upon His Beloved Bride, pursues the lost, and holds the universe in place. This is the King we worship, upon the throne surrounded by a rainbow and yet he chooses to live here in this dirty filthy world in a tabernacle of skin and bones.  I realize I am so unworthy of this honor and yet Christ has deemed me worthy.  Washed me clean with His Holiness. So as I inhale and exhale in this broken world I do my best to live for Him, to love Him, to be captured by His beauty, to share all that I know of Him with this world that He loves so much.... that He willingly died for it.  To bring His Kingdom here, to earth.  I don't yet know exactly what that looks like but bit by bit I see it coming and it is beautiful and lovely and everything I have ever dreamed of and it is liberating.


Revelation 4:1-11 (MSG)
¹ Then I looked, and, oh!—a door open into Heaven. The trumpet-voice, the first voice in my vision, called out, "Ascend and enter. I'll show you what happens next."
² I was caught up at once in deep worship and, oh!—a Throne set in Heaven with One Seated on the Throne,
³ suffused in gem hues of amber and flame with a nimbus of emerald.
⁴ Twenty-four thrones circled the Throne, with Twenty-four Elders seated, white-robed, gold-crowned.
⁵ Lightning flash and thunder crash pulsed from the Throne. Seven fire-blazing torches fronted the Throne (these are the Sevenfold Spirit of God).
⁶ Before the Throne it was like a clear crystal sea. Prowling around the Throne were Four Animals, all eyes. Eyes to look ahead, eyes to look behind.
⁷ The first Animal like a lion, the second like an ox, the third with a human face, the fourth like an eagle in flight.
⁸ The Four Animals were winged, each with six wings. They were all eyes, seeing around and within. And they chanted night and day, never taking a break: Holy, holy, holy Is God our Master, Sovereign-Strong, THE WAS, THE IS, THE COMING.
⁹ Every time the Animals gave glory and honor and thanks to the One Seated on the Throne—the age-after-age Living One—
¹⁰ the Twenty-four Elders would fall prostrate before the One Seated on the Throne. They worshiped the age-after-age Living One. They threw their crowns at the foot of the Throne, chanting,
¹¹ Worthy, O Master! Yes, our God! Take the glory! the honor! the power! You created it all; It was created because you wanted it.