This is joy....

Yep, I said it.  This full messy sink is joy.  It didn't start out that way.  I looked at it this morning and considered leaving it one more day, after all I have another sink in my island.  Then I rolled my sleeves up and decided to resentfully tackle it.  By resentful I mean, why does it have to be me?  I was the one that did all the cooking.  But as I washed I had a revelation, this was a milestone.  This was a breakthrough.  Grief has a way of making everything so difficult and cooking has been one of those difficulties.  My family has been the recipients of meals for months but they had finally dwindled down to rare.  These lovely people will never really understand what a blessing it was to have those meals delivered. However, I couldn't "not cook" forever, there had to come a time where I got back into cooking for my family.  

So that's what happened this weekend.  The house was full of some of my favorite young people and I cooked and cooked.  Cookies, beef tips, noodles, brownies (well I facilitated that one), tacos, beans, grilled onions and peppers.  It was only a weekend but it was so much more.  It was joy.  Everyone of those dishes represented breakthrough.  Every dish represented laughter and fun as these kids filled our home.  Was it a mess?  Yes, a beautiful mess of love.  So, as I washed those dishes I thanked God for all those that had passed through my home over the weekend, the motorcycle grime that was on door handles and dusty boot prints on the floor, the laughter that had filled the kitchen, the honest conversations that happened, the movies watched, popcorn popped, late night video games, working on trucks and all the other stuff that comes with these boys and their toys.  I thanked God because He brings me joy in the most unexpected places, like a sink filled with dirty dishes.  I thanked Him because if felt like a new place.  Yes, it was just cooking but it was also so much more...It was joy.